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Today was shitty. I got myself way worked up over a stupid fight with patrick and I was upset for forever....then I ended up forgetting to check my blood sugar, and i fucking PASSED OUT because it was low. Yeahhhhhhh, mom wasn't too happy about that. I got lectured about how I should be more careful and i should know after 10 years of this that i should check my blood sugar often.


i got dumped


i kind of want to curl up in a ball and die

crying now


I had a long long long long long talk with my mommy.

she doesn't hate me. <3333333333

She was like...i dont know, really sad that I didn't tell her earlier. especially since I told dad a while ago. Aaaand she said she was super super super pissed at first because I didn't tell her and she didn't know and she likes being in control of things and this was beyond her control. Annnd she says she was like....looking forward to me getting married and having kids, which I don't think I ever would anyway but. She told me that dad had to keep talking to her and trying to get her to calm down and it took forever but she's ok with it now.

but....she's been acting a lot better lately. she's not such a bitch anymore. she likes patrick, like, as my boyfriend. she says he's good for me. and like she smiles when we hold hands and stuff. :DD

I don't know what's up with her, its like she's a totally different person, but i like it, a lot.

Oh, but sadly, her knowing about us means that now there are more ruless. Like I can't have him in my room with the door shut unless someone else is in there with us.
Buuuuuuut none of that matters. I feel so much better now. <3

Byeeeee :DD

Evan IS alive!

Some shit's been going down at my place, so I haven't been there really. =/ My mom found out about me and Patrick...I don't know, somehow, I guess she could've seen us kissing and just.......uuuugh. She's seriously piiiiiissssssssssseeeeed and so I've been bumming around, hiding out at Darien's or Patrick's, and I think Sadie's a couple times, but her parents don't like me moochin so. Actually right now I'm at Kain's, no clue why I didn't come here sooner but...the point is I'm here now.

Kain got pretty pissed when I showed up, seeing as I've kind of been MIA. So I'm thinking I'm gonna be stuck here a couple more days until my dad calls and gives me the OK to go back home...so my mom doesn't castrate me. I think.....she's prolly just pissed that I didn't tell her before / that she didn't figure it out sooner. Iunno...I'm not really sure if she's actually mad that i like boys. Like I've heard her say shit against gays before but with some people they don't care if it's their own kid, you know? cause they want their kids to be happy.

...I'm scared. ._______. Like....I know she's a gigantic bitch and I hate her, but...she's my mommy and idon'twanthertohateme.

I haaaaate mooching like this, but i love that i have friends who care enough to let me. Even darien-who rarely shows any emotion. OH speaking of...he is really really good at cooking. like whoaaaaaa.. i shouldve expected it with how much he lvoes food but holy shitttttttttttttt, he's good. I like staying at his place for this very reason. xD But, yeah....I fucking HAAATE not having my cell with me. Mom was freaking out so much i just kind of....ran, and dragged patrick with me.

Kain is whining so we're gonna go watch tv or eat or cuddle or iunnnnooooooooooo somethin. I missed my best fraaaaaaandddddd.<333

...First i really need a shower, but patrick just dropped me off like half an hour ago and I don't wanna call him to bring me some of his clothes. XDD Oh god, im gonna have to wear kain's clothes. I am gonna look ridiculousssssss




YEs it has to be pink cause uhh.............i like pink.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND we're very very gay so we must have lots of pink.


i am a teenage giiiiiiiirl.

and i dont caaaaaaaare, 8DDDDDD

Patrick is reallyreally sweet, and just...omg. :3 He picked me up from school today...it was so cute, I found him in the hallway after my last class, he looked so lost. (I don't know if I mentioned...he's homeschooled.) And I said, "What are you doing here, Patrick?" and he said "I wanted to surprise you but I couldn't figure out where you were!" (No shit...the school is huge.) and I just laughed at him, and he took my hand (!!!!!!, so cuteeee, omg he makes me all melty and a;dslkfas) and we kinda just drove around aimlessly for a little while, and then we went to a random park. :3 It was really fun, we were just being idiots and swinging, and going down the slides that were about as long as our legs. It was just...adorable. I guess that's our 'first date?' Idc. I love being around him no matter what.

And after we went to Sadie's and dear god, I love her to death but she's so annoying when she's right. The whooole time she was all, "AWWWWWW, YOU GUYS ARE BOYFRIENDSSSSSSS, I TOLD YOU HE LIKED YOU PATRICKKKKKKK!" And then I started blushing so she started giggling and just generaly being Sadie. And Patrick told her to stop embarrassing me, and said "Besides, we're technically not boyfriends...yet." and I seriously just diedddd. ;_;

You guys don't even get how happy I am. I feel like a normal teenager now. I have friends, and I'm dating someone, and it's awesomeeeeeeeeeeee. 8DDDDDD


Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Oh my god.

Patrick actually asked me out and just.....................
I'm like........

And justlike........ohmigodholyshit.
He just randomly called me and went, "Uh Evan I've wanted to ask you something for a little while and Sadie's saying I'm going to lose my chance if I don't do it soon so I'm gonna try now.......wannagooutwithmeplease?"

and i like.....started squealing like a chick and i was like "OHMIGODyesyesyesyesyessssssssss"

and then i called kain and told him and he was all happy for me and omggggggggggggggwheeeeeeeeeeeillovelife

And just.....
he is so cute. He has this adorable hair that's blonde and kinda wavy but not really and it's long and he's like...skinny and bony but he still has hips (<3333333333333) and just like............


but idc because ;adkfja;sdkjfpatricklikesme

Oh, iris is still little miss superbitch, by the way. She forgave me but it's not the same. I think she just wants me to spy on Kain for her...I'm not telling her anything though.
And she has a new boyfriend. His name is Mike, I don't like him he's a creep. And he makes fun of me and calls me gaywad and stuff and only Kain and non-bitch Iris can call me that...because I know they love me and they're joking.
Why did she hide Kain's awesomeness from me for so long? >| bitch

Just so you guys know,

I am no longer speaking to Iris.

She hates me because I yelled at her and told her to stop ruining Kain's life.

I miss my best friend.


Maan, wtf is up with me and writing entries when my friends are over? I think I'm like....addicted to LJ. Dx This could be badddd, man. I NEED IT INJECTED STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINSSS~~~~~~

But yeahh, Sadie and Patrick are over. (If you guys haven't noticed this yet, they do everything together. Like EVERYTHING. It's almost annoying that I never see one without the other.)

Oh god, speaking of Patrick...

Earlier he went into the bathroom and Sadie decided it was the perfect oppurtunity to give me the 3rd degree. She was seriously all, "Oh my god Evan you like Patrick. Don't deny it Evan I know how you look at him." And I was just kinda like, "Uh.....yeah. ._____." And then she kept going, "Ohmigod, are you like gonna ask him outtt???????" And I was like, "Well, I don't know, I'm not really the straightforward type...and I don't even think he likes me anyway." And then she opened her mouth but Patrick came back so I don't know if he likes me and oh my god I want him to sososo bad. ;_; Like you guys don't even understand.

Sadie's entertaining when she's not grilling me for info, though. I love her to deathhhhh. Her and Patrick are great...and yes, Darien is too. He's truly bringing out the guy in me. XD More than Kain does, I mean. 'Cause Kain kinda...lets his guard down easier, and shows that there's something else underneath the disgusting rapist creep. Darien...I know there's something there, but he won't show anyone. >:| I'm determined to get him to trust me now. I wanna know who the sweet guy is.

Oh, an;alksdjfah;geoijknamdfxjgapnoq/;[=/vfophj=cx;n


HIHIIIIIIIIIII thsi is patrickkkkkkkk and im sitting on evan right now and i just fought him for the Keyboard cus i wanted to say hi to his lil online diary friendssssssss so like hiii i ugess and um i hate typing andddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd hi! byeeee evan is threatening to kill me now

.....What the fuck. xDDD God that boy is so...weird. <333333 That's why I like him, though. Hm, this entry is long and stupid enoughh. :)

So byeeeeeeeee lj! :DDDD




You are made of awesome.

Momma's boy.

Never take friendship personal.

I've completely forgotten about LiveJournal. Seriously! I've actually been hanging out with people. Jack has some really awesome friends. I've been hanging out with him, Sadie, Darien, and Patrick a lot lately. They're all really cool, we pretty much have the same interests. It's nice to have friends besides Kain and Iris.

Problem is....last week I told them I'm gay. =/ It was an accident, though. We were talking about 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' and it just slipped out. I went, "Brad Pitt is so fucking hot. I'd fuck him, hard." (Kain is such a bad influence on me. I didn't used to cuss like, ever, and now I do all the time. Fuck you, Ka.) >.> Eh-heh heh...Sadie and Patrick immediately yelled, "I FUCKING KNEW IT!" Darien dropped his taco and made a fish face for a second (the opening and closing of the mouth), but then he went, "So, you're gay?" And I confirmed that yes, I am, and he nodded and kept eating his taco. So he's cool with it, I guess. But Jack...basically freaked the fuck out. =/ He honestly started yelling and just...=/ I feel stupid for telling them. I think that they're all way cool, and Jack's the one who introduced me to them. He won't talk to me anymore. I feel like if I continue talking to everyone else, I'll be like....idk. Stealing his friends? I'm not too good with this friend thing. When I get in a fight with the one who introduced me to the rest, am I still allowed to talk to the rest?

Sadie, Patrick and Darien are still talking to me. So I guess I'm allowed. But I see Jack at school every day, so it's weird not talking to him...I don't get to see everyone else at school. Sadie and Patrick are both homeschooled, and Darien is a dropout. <--This upsets me greatly, but I don't tell him that. I'm getting really close with all three of them. They're really awesome. Sadie is sweet, and I feel like I can tell her anything. (But she's not replacing you, Iri and Ka. None of them are. Promise.) She and Patrick have been friends since they were babies, and they basically do everything together. When I was upset about Jack being a jerk (LMAO), Patrick confided that he's bisexual. So I feel a lot less alone there.

And...I'm a bit relieved he's bi, 'cause I have a crush on him. Like a big one. I think Sadie knows. She gives me this look, like one that just screams "OHMYGOD EVAN YOU SO LOVE HIM." Which I don't. Obviously, considering I just met him.

Darien is awesome too! He threatened to burn all of my 'dweeby-ass sweater bullshit.' He's kind of...I don't know. XD He told me that if I ever wore a sweater around him again he'd rip it off and burn it/feed the ashes to his dog. Since then I've pretty much stopped wearing sweaters completely. It's weird...I always wear sweaters and t-shirts and now I'm just wearing t-shirts. And I stole a black zip-up hoodie thing from Patrick, so I've been wearing that. I feel significantly less dweeby/faggy. Even though I love me some sweaters.

Things on the mom front are so much better lately. She's been really nice, and normal. She seems to think Sadie is my girlfriend, however...Lol, NO THANKS.

Anyway, that's basically my life now, and I'm enjoying it a lot. Everything is awesomesauce. <3 KA, IRI, WE NEED TO CHIIIIIILLLLLLL. And if you guys want to, you can meet my new buddies. :DDDDDD